Meet Mairys Joaquin!
This week Morgan asked actor, Mairys Joaquin, what she wanted to our readers to know about what its been like to be a Black actor during this time. Mairys also had a few jobs affected by Covid-19 and she shared that experience with us as well! Enjoy her raw, passionate, and incredibly loving response!
“2020 has been MUCH and I know I'm not the only one. It's felt like 2020 has just wanted to perpetually sock us in the jaw. (Can I get an Amen?) .
Let me start with a quick personal timeline of this here Year of our Lord:
On January 18th, I lost my mom at age 57 to complications with Lupus that had gone misdiagnosed for over 12 years.
In mid-March, like many of us, I lost my job on the national tour of "A Bronx Tale" due to COVID-19.
On April 25th, my grandma (and last living grandparent) passed away after a fall broke her spine. I wasn't able to say goodbye or support my dad. I was in Bushwick, BK, which at the time was one the epicenters of NYCs highest infection rates for COVID-19.
In May, I found out I'd lost my summer contract, which would've made me eligible to join Equity.
Pero like...damn sis.
It's been hard to stay positive in 2020. The "why me" wah-mbulance has been going hard and into reprises. There were days where positivity was not even on the table. Getting out of bed to shower was the ONLY goal I could meet.
Times like these are tough on anyone, but they're especially tough on that 1 in 4 of us who struggle with our mental health (for me it's good ole anxiety and depression).
Survival, at first was all I could do. I learned how important it was to be super gentle with myself as if I were speaking to little baby diva Mairys. As a type-A, hard on myself go-getter, this was particularly challenging. I relied on my tough, no-nonsense self-talk heavily my whole life in order to achieve. I've literally had to check myself thought by thought and have had to be my own ally, gently and lovingly healing myself in this post-apocalyptic time (because seriously what is this life?).
At first, we started small. Yankee Candles, fuzzy slippers, coloring pencils/crayons and coloring pages to make pretty pictures to hang on the fridge because that made me feel good (even at 31 ... hey!). I cooked and made comforting family recipes that reminded me of my mom and grandma. I gave myself a manicure like my grandma used to. I loved on myself...hard.
Eventually, I was able to start to make a few more goals. I started with physical fitness. With the influx of free dance and fitness classes available online, I was at first daunted, but I soon realized it was an incredible opportunity to train my body and help heal my mind. I started following Meghan McFerran's CitySweat, took dance classes at some of my favorite studios like Joffrey and BDC, and discovered new dancers and teachers that I was able to connect with and learn from.
I've also been conscious to spend my money on necessities and things aligned with my values, like supporting my fellow artist friends and colleagues and their businesses. I started taking one-on-one ballet lessons with one of my dear friends and former castmates and am now able to help support her as she helps support my training. I would've never had or thought of these opportunities had I not been given these sets of "COVID constraints." The structure of quarantine and the limitations around it actually offered me a freedom I'd never had before.
With the gift of time, I made and crushed more goals focusing on my craft AND career. I took classes at my home studio JWS (Jen Waldman Studios, ), which pivoted to online classes where I worked on my storytelling and on-camera technique, pop/rock performance technique, Shakespeare, the essentials of comedy, and impulse training my instrument to be limber and responsive "in the room" and in life. I signed up for a 4-week Spanish voice-over intensive and invested in my home studio set up (which for me is my closet with lots of pillows, a good mic, and plenty of ingenuity). The key was to get out of my head and into my life. Get back to learning, to growing, to laughing at jokes, and to the business of living.
And it helped. Little by little I've been able to get out of bed and back into me. There are still tough days, but making these decisions has helped me feel more empowered and in control over what I can during a time where control is scarce and things become even more chaotic.
As an Afro-Latina, the current political and social climate has been toxic and brought on a whole other layer of soot to sift through. My parents were immigrants from the Dominican Republic and grew up in Brooklyn in the 70s and 80s. Racism and Colorism are two things I know VERY much about and have had to grapple with and fight through my entire life. Staying silent or pretending like things are okay has never and will never be an option for me. But like many of my fellow BIPOCs, it's also been challenging figuring out how to maintain sanity and preserve mental/emotional well-being at a time of inundation with images and videos of violence. It's a lot.
Being a person of color right now... is exhausting. I'm tired with a capital T-I-R-E-D. Of course we are. Part of this conversation is constantly having to defend the validity of your humanity to others who benefit from systems that oppress you. Having to explain to someone that racism is in fact still a thing even though they "just don't see it." I'm tired of people wanting me to do the work for them, to explain and demonstrate, with cited sources, how, when, and why people of color are subjugated to second-class citizenry by design. TIRED.
But my glimmer of hope? All of you. The community of people from countries and cities across the world who have united in allyship. It gives me strength to see this next generation standing tall and brave against white supremacy, bigotry, and hatred, especially within our industry. It breathes life into my tired bones to hear the chants and see the everyday people doing the hard work of anti-racism. It reminds me that we are ALL in this together and that's the only way we will be able to make change a reality instead of a pipedream. I'm revived to see that all around me the REVOLUTION is HERE and the REVOLUTION is US. This revolution of love has reminded me that I want to use my instrument to bring OUR stories to life. I want to be apart of creating them, no longer waiting for others to produce work that I can meaningfully do. That means connecting with fellow artists to write and create, sometimes even just for the sake of creating. It means plugging into our communities and sharing these stories any way I can. It means using my VOICE to amplify that of others to help bring about CHANGE.So what now? Like my mom used to say "Take it Suave. One day at a time." One breath at a time. One song at a time. One scene at a time. One protest at a time. One conversation at a time. One virtual hug at a time. But don't give up--keep going. If 2020 has shown us anything it's that we're made of tougher stuff than we think. And when 2020 socks you in the jaw, sock the hoe right back”
“THE REVOLUTION IS HERE & THE REVOLUTION IS US.”
Graphic designer and lettering artist, Jessica Cale, was so inspired by Mairys’ words that she decided to bring them to life through her art!
To see more, follow Cale and her designs @caledesignco
